Okay, so this post requires me to be a little open and honest with you guys...but eh, what the hell, it's MUCH too funny not to share.
I recently, as in 2 days ago, signed up on Match.com, to give this online dating this a try...for the second time. Yes, I signed up for the 1st time while I was in public [accounting] and traveling 70% of time time. I think I lasted 30 days before I was completely disgusted and mortified that this could possibly be the pool of men I have to choose from. My initial reasoning for trying it out was because work didn't allow me to meet anyone...well outside of work. And two people I worked with met their boyfriend/husband on Match so I thought maybe I should take the stick from out of my *blank* and give it a try.
This time around, I decided...okay this could be a fun way to meet people during the winter months. Maybe, just maybe, there would be some cool cats on there. Keep in mind that I'm very picky when it comes to guys, probably much more picky than I have the right to be. It's cool though, I'm working on it. lol.
Anywho, day two and I get an email from some 38 year old man that reads:
I love you lady i live downtown chicago i,m a dj love me some oldschool and new2 so if you like a friend and a best friend or aman you can holla@yo man that me like going out to movie ' show ' bowling ,staking ,walk to the lake so if you need some thing like dat in your lyfe e.mail me and i will do the rest you feel me lady my queen is needed…
Seriously.
Seriously.
SERIOUSLY?!
After reading through it once, I had to send it to my bestie to decipher what the hell this guy was saying to me and she came up with:
I love you lady
I live in downtown Chicago
I'm a dj
I love old school and new school too
If you want a friend, a best friend, or a man--give me a call
I like movies ("the show"), bowling, skating, walks on the beach/lake
So if you enjoy these things too, e-mail me and I will gladly do the rest
Do you understand?
I need someone in my life that I can treat like a queen...
I just...I can't.
BUHAHAHA - sorry you had to go through this. I signed up on eHarmony (somewhat shamed to say so - but it's very "in"), and the guy who messaged me was smart, but he was unattractive. Like fat, red-headed, short, yellow teeth unattractive. I don't think I'm shallow - but I'm like can I at least get one? HAHA - anywho, your guy CLEARLY needs to go back to grammar school.
ReplyDeleteGrammar school...literally. Beyond the literal message, that delivery told me some other things about him that x him off the list anyway:
ReplyDelete1) I can't have an intelligent convo with him
2) He doesn't have a good job (beceause he can't speak OR write)
3) I would NEVER, EVER want to have his babies. EVER.