Are Women Too Picky or Are Men Really Shitty?

I enjoy reading a few blogs written by young Black males, mainly because they give an interesting perspective on how today's pool of young Black women are viewed by our counterparts. An overarching theme I've heard from these guys, and many others within my network, is that women are too picky.

Sometimes, I'm inclined to agree with this assertion. I myself, have deleted a few items from my list of must-haves in a man. But I'm not 100% sure I did this because my list was wrong of me to have in the first place, or if it was just too darn unrealistic given the current pool of men out here.

More often than not, we (and I'm speaking for the college-educated, good career toting, own apartment/house and car, no kids, attractive and fashion forward women) are criticized for having a laundry list of expectations and demands for any guy we'll even consider dating material, let alone boyfriend or husband material. While I would agree that it does limit us to the pool of men to choose from...I'm not quite sure that it's irrational for us to have this list.

Traditionally, and let's admit it, the majority of us want to operate traditionally, men are the captain of the ship, the head of the household, the provider, the leader, the man. I think that for me and women like me, who have attained a lot at a fairly young age, it might just be the case that it takes a long laundry list to be the captain of our ships.

Let's take me for example. I am 25, with an advanced degree, my own apartment, my own car, I am looking to make manager at my current job in the next two years (so my goal is to make director by the time I'm 30)...if I attain this, it means hopefully making six figures by or before I turn 30. (These are GOALS...hint hint, looking for a man who has them!) I'm pretty sure I'd be considered normal by social standards...I make friends easily, I have a broad network of peers in multiple career areas, I come from a pretty decent family...oh and I almost forgot, I don't have any kids and I'm a Certified Public Accountant.

I would like to think that "long" laundry list of, what I'd like to call, "bossy" qualities about myself (please excuse my lack of humility for the purposes of this post), entitles me to request the same of any man I want to give my attention to. No?

With that in mind, I'd want a man between 25-30, with an advanced degree, his own apartment/home (I don't have a roommate, but compromise is key so I won't judge if he has one) and car, on the career track to be making at least six figures by 30 (if he's not doing it already), with a decent network of friends, colleagues and peers (don't be a weirdo or asshole), a good family, and some type of [hard to attain] licensure for his line of work. NO KIDS. And it would be nice if he were also attractive (by my standards) and God-fearing.

That man almost sounds like Mr. Perfect huh?

I feel like if I made a bold statement that this is what I want, this is my list...my mama might even tell me I'm asking for too much. But why? All I'm asking for is someone like me!

Check this: In the military, you don't get to become the Captain if you haven't yet proven yourself to be a great Lieutenant. Furthermore, the Lieutenant never leads the Captain...ever. Why would I want a man to be the Captain of my ship and he hasn't even made it to my rank...Lieutenant? I'll let you think about it.

To take this a little further...

We all love the Obamas, not only because they are the President and First Lady of the United States, but because they represent tradition. Barack is the man, he is the Captain, there is no confusion about that. Michelle is his wife, the mother of his children, she is the Lieutenant, and she follows his lead. Yet and still, Michelle is a very accomplished woman in her own right. We get the impression that her husband respects her and loves her, regardless of their ranks. But, would we look at their relationship the same if Barack were a truck driver (or insert any career here that doesn't make as much as Michelle did before she became the First Lady) and Michelle were just as successful as she was before the Presidency?

Probably not. I mean we'd probably feel like Michelle is on her "ish". But we wouldn't glorify the couple in the same way we do now. The order would be messed up...that's not the way things are supposed to be...it doesn't follow tradition...it isn't normal. And let's admit, the reason we love the Obamas is because they are as "normal" of a couple as it gets. Except in our society that isn't the norm anymore, it's the exception...which is in and of itself a big issue, but I'll save that for another post. 

Certain parts of this post are me just playing devil's advocate. (Sorry to be so harsh at times guys). But parts of devil's advocate, I actually kind of bang with. I'm open to falling in love with whoever I fall in love with...but I don't think that if I did have a standard of men that requires what some people would deem "too much," I would be wrong. I can't go putting millionaire on my list of requirements, b/c let's be real... I'm no Drake, but to request the same things of a partner that I myself bring to the table, shouldn't be regarded as being "too picky."

So is it really the case that women are being too picky? Or is it that the majority of men out here are just too shitty?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Why Everyone Should Be an Accountant

Accounting may be boring (to most) but it is quite essential to run a successful business. I have a lot of friends who come to me with fun and exciting business ideas. A lot of them aren't half bad...but there's always one key issue: they don't understand the accounting. Moreover, they think the accounting is only important for taxes and the IRS. But the way you account for your business is key to its survival.

Of course you can hire an accountant, but in the infancy stages of a business most people don't have the luxury of being able to afford someone that official. Furthermore, it's your business...good or bad accounting can make or break it...do you really want to put all of that responsibility in someone else's hands or would you rather know yourself?

I ran across an article in the NYTimes, Basics of Accounting Are Vital to Survival for Entrepreneurs and thought the key points would be great to share with you all. The article shares that you don't have to be a CPA to run a successful business, but there are a few key financial indicators you should understand and pay close attention to in order to measure how successful your business is doing:

1. "Don't Mistake Debt for Profit" - Cash flow is king. When I look at a company's balance sheet and their ratio of cash to debt is 1:2 instead of 2:1...I smell liquidity problems. It's awesome to have cash sitting in the bank, but if all of that cash is money you borrowed, you're just as bad off, if not worse, than if you had $0 in cash and $0 in debt. At least then, you'd be painting an honest picture for yourself...and you wouldn't owe anyone!
2. "Manage Receivables" - This is a major point I always tell my friends. Receivables (money owed to you for services already rendered) are an asset (aka a good thing). However, receivables are only good if the customers actually pay you (thus converting the receivable into cash...again CASH IS KING). A lot of poorly managed businesses will reveal high receivables that have been sitting (aging) for months. The longer it takes someone to pay you, the less likely they are to actually do it. Common sense right? Therefore, if you have $100,000 of receivables on your balance sheet, but $90,000 of them have been there for 3 months or more...chances are you will never see that $90k. With receivables you have to make sure you keep track of who owes you (don't let them buy more until they pay up!), have a collections process in place (don't just let customers sit there owing, call them every day/week/month until they pay), and know what you should be writing off (you want to make sure the picture you're painting is accurate).
3. "Understand Your Expenses" - Your bottom line (net income) is what matters. Don't get so caught up on sales, that you forget what you spent to make those sales happen. If you sell $50k but you spent $45k doing it, that isn't so good. This is why when Kandi of Real Housewives of Atlanta was going on and on about her new sex toy business selling out everywhere, I was unimpressed....don't get me wrong, I love Kandi, but her reiterating that the toys were selling out says little about how the actual business is doing. Who cares how much you sold, how much did you actually make from those sales?! I digress...
4. "Track Your Breakeven" - If you know how much you need to make (revenue) to cover how much you spent (expenses), you're less likely to go into the hole. Most business owners only want to examine their revenues and expenses around tax time but certain financial aspects of the business should be tracked regularly. It's just like balancing your checkbook, okay, I know no one does that anymore...but at the very least, you make sure the bills you're paying every month aren't more than your paycheck right?! Okay, that's BREAKEVEN!

For those of you seriously interested in pursuing entrepreneurship, I would strongly suggest not only seeking out the help of knowledgable professionals, but also taking a basic accounting class or picking up a text book and teaching yourself. You should know and understand how important accounting is to your business, whether you find it fun or not. Afterall, good accounting could help your business survive in the worst of times and help it flourish in the best.

Good Luck & Happy Accounting!